Teachable Moments: Spiritual Gangster

What we’re making fun of today: the “yoga” clothing line Spiritual Gangster.

Denise: Were we discussing Spiritual Gangster?

Anupa: No.
But is that the yoga clothing line?

Denise: Yes…weren’t we? Like way a long time ago?
Anyway. they’re selling it at my yoga studio,  sigh

Anupa: Ohhhh. I thought it was someone else i was discussing it with. Hahahah.
How does it make you feel?

Denise: Sad. Sad at yoga people

Anupa:  Why would someone think that’s an okay name for a clothing line?
Like really.

Denise: Because they are yoga.  They probably think they’re reclaiming both words.

Anupa: We should write an open letter
Dear Spiritual Gangster,

Denise: Lolol what?

Anupa:  I am tired

Denise: I thought you were sighing about how hilarious you are

Anupa:  It is very convenient that their about page isn’t working right now.
I would’ve loved to read the description

Anupa: Why is it $44?

Denise: Right?

Anupa: I wish i could comment on there
“Why is this $44?”

Denise: It comes with spiritual vibrations.
This is making me like actually mad. But also I am laughing at myself. Are people going to understand why it’s annoying?

Anupa:  I think we should maybe try and explore it a little otherwise we’re going to sound like yawny brown oppositeyuppies

Denise:  Ok well – I will admit, I wear Lululemon. But I always say, love the clothes, hate the brand. Their “Love! Feel! Breathe!” shit is annoying, but they do make good, structural workout clothes. Whereas…this is just about shopping. But pretending it’s deep. Yeah?

Anupa:  Sure. Or “branding.” Barf. I mostly only buy Lululemon when it’s on sale. Basically nothing justifies $100 stretchy pants for me. Also, everyone in there is an asshole.

Denise:  I go more for the shirts. Ummm…but also the word “gangster”?

Anupa:  I know, right? It is weird because it’s basically utterly confusing? But also seems like the yuppiest thing to say ever? I kind of resent atheist, agnostic whites borrowing spirituality from yoga. Which is why I prefer the least “spiritual” studios possible.

me:  And also all the models are super skinny super long-haired white girls. Kind of what I like about yoga is when women that aren’t your “typical” hot body are super muscular and flexi.

I’m sad about my studio carrying these, sob

Anupa is busy. You may be interrupting.


2 thoughts on “Teachable Moments: Spiritual Gangster

  1. V. funny. Totally agree, esp. about buying $100 pants that you’re going to sweat like crazy in, and about everyone at LL being an ahole…almost laughed my head off reading that. That said, I too will buy stuff there only if it’s on sale…and I have to admit, the TaTa Tamer IS a very good sports bra (side note: the fact that it’s the only full support bra there also tells me that LL sees their main clientele as tall, skinny, flatchested blonde girls named Sky, Starr or Rainforest)

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