Ethnic! Xmas! Drama! 2011 Edition

  1. In Friday’s Globe and Mail, Damage Control columnist David Eddie fielded a question from a Chinese dude with a white fianceé. Her parents keep giving him “themed” Christmas gifts – a rice cooker, a Jackie Chan box set – which makes him feel uncomfortable. His fiancée thinks he should suck it up and so, basically, did Eddie. Unsurprisingly, not everyone agreed.
  2. First up: The ethnics are ON IT.
  3. My FAVOURITE G&M “Damage Control” column: “My white in-laws keep giving me ‘Chinese’ gifts” theglobeandmail.com/life/h… attn: @ethnicaisle
    December 23, 2011 10:47:57 AM EST
  4. “Last year, my fiancée’s family gave me a rice cooker. I’m Chinese-Canadian. They’re Caucasian.” bit.ly/rQDQ1W (ht @annhui @DakGlobe)
    December 23, 2011 9:03:49 AM EST
  5. good intentions are overrated. that column is so fucked up. that writer should not be giving advice.
    December 23, 2011 10:58:22 AM EST
  6. that G&M column is basically Forbes-lite in the way it completely ignores the reality of being not-white
    December 23, 2011 10:59:53 AM EST
  7. it enraged me to read the fiancee saying “get over it.” all i could think was “what a horrible relationship”
    December 23, 2011 11:02:36 AM EST
  8. WHY IS THE PICTURE ON THE COLUMN A BOWL OF RICE? @dakglobe @ghostfaceknitta
    December 23, 2011 11:08:56 AM EST
  9. Should it be two old white folks standing in the bg, out of focus, with Chinese man in front with arms crossed?
    December 23, 2011 11:12:58 AM EST
  10. @_anupa @dakglobe I cringed when I saw that too. Also, if I were her folks I would’ve assumed dude already had a rice cooker. I mean, c’mon.
    December 23, 2011 11:13:45 AM EST
  11. Canice Leung breaks it down:
  12. re: “in-laws give asian dude rice cooker/jackie chan dvds” bit.ly/scUXXH … 1. being cute-clueless is not a defence for being racist
    December 23, 2011 1:24:04 PM EST
  13. 2. i would be BUMMED if i was marrying into a family, knew them for (probably) years, and still the only thing they saw was my ethnicity.
    December 23, 2011 1:24:39 PM EST
  14. 3. i would really love a rice cooker, but actually. but that’s because i love cooking, not because i’m chinese.
    December 23, 2011 1:26:22 PM EST
  15. 4. only a white dude advice columnist would defend that. people can’t be forgiven for doing bad things just cause they had good intentions.
    December 23, 2011 1:27:54 PM EST
  16. 5. i am normally a fan of david eddie’s writing, which is why this particular piece of advice is even more disappointing.
    December 23, 2011 1:28:54 PM EST
  17. Fight! Fight! Fight!
  18. @canice Excuse me? “Only a white dude advice columnist would defend that”. ONLY?! Look, stupidity comes in ALL colours, shapes and sizes.
    December 23, 2011 1:29:41 PM EST
  19. @JaysonMcEwen rephrasing: there are some positions only people of certain privilege/class/race/ethnicity would hold and this is one of them.
    December 23, 2011 1:35:28 PM EST
  20. @JaysonMcEwen we’re not talking inclusively about ‘all stupid things stupid people say’ … this is about giving a rice cooker to an asian.
    December 23, 2011 1:36:40 PM EST
  21. @canice There IS a different/double standard for what YOU (a visible minority) can say, rather than what I (a white man) can say. Deny it?
    December 23, 2011 1:39:42 PM EST
  22. @JaysonMcEwen plenty of minorities are racist/classist against others, i’ll happily point those out if such situations arise in nat’l paper.
    December 23, 2011 1:41:27 PM EST
  23. @JaysonMcEwen then again, i can’t think of a minority/woman/etc advice columnist at a canadian newspaper, so it’s all hypothetical, innit?
    December 23, 2011 1:43:03 PM EST
  24. @canice I read the piece in the @globeandmail … and I know what you’re saying. I just … question the thinly-veiled racism. That’s all.
    December 23, 2011 1:43:10 PM EST
  25. @JaysonMcEwen it’s NOT thinly veiled racism. i’m outright positing that a non-white columnist would NOT condone such gift-giving.
    December 23, 2011 1:46:46 PM EST
  26. @canice Good for them. I just didn’t appreciate the “only a white dude” comment. Shows me way more than I need to see how you TRULY view us.
    December 23, 2011 1:49:22 PM EST
  27. @JaysonMcEwen in general, the ‘minorities get free pass’ complaint is imagined. minorities SEE racism because we LIVE the experience, OK?
    December 23, 2011 1:49:20 PM EST
  28. @canice I live it too. Don’t kid yourself. Racism is NOT exclusive to visible minorities. I “SEE” it too, OK? I “LIVE” the experience too.
    December 23, 2011 1:51:47 PM EST
  29. @JaysonMcEwen oh, you got me. i hate white people — because i suggested a white person might not understand an asian man’s POV.
    December 23, 2011 2:03:36 PM EST
  30. A word from the Globe:
  31. @canice I’m Dave’s editor. You may disagree with the advice (god knows I don’t always agree w/ DE), but it did have yellow eyes on it.
    December 23, 2011 2:05:23 PM EST
  32. @canice A colleague pointed out that the fiancee should be working the gears behind the scenes with the parents. I also agree with that
    December 23, 2011 2:57:41 PM EST
  33. @kevinsiu in fairness, i get that social decorum isn’t always about being strident anti-oppression police (err unless you’re me, apparently)
    December 23, 2011 2:16:11 PM EST
  34. On another corner of Twitter:
  35. As a white person I was horrified at David Eddie’s advice. Way past time for us to challenge everyday racism.
    December 23, 2011 12:58:40 PM EST
  36. If you “put up with it” now, imagine 10 yrs into the marriage! Better to explain why gifts offend.
    December 23, 2011 2:00:28 PM EST
  37. I wonder about the context of the situation, though. I’m from Wpg and grew up hearing many people (cont)
    December 23, 2011 2:09:23 PM EST
  38. ask Qs that were quite well-intentioned…but could seem goofy (cont)
    December 23, 2011 2:10:38 PM EST
  39. or racist. But it was an attempt learn about my ethnicity. I was their kid’s first “ethnic” friend.
    December 23, 2011 2:11:48 PM EST
  40. But advice was still bad. Take this as opp to talk to in-laws a/b why gifts are inappropriate.
    December 23, 2011 2:13:26 PM EST
  41. And that’s your ethnic Christmas drama for 2011. Enjoy the holiday, and see you all next year.
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