The Wedding Issue

funny sexy african american bride & groom caketopper medHow many weddings are YOU going to this summer? And how many have that special Toronto flavour? You know, the bride and bride or groom and groom or – heck! – bride and groom are completely different shades of human. The ceremony integrates multiple traditions: the couple bows Korean-style to honour their parents underneath a Jewish chuppah, then tucks into an Italian feast at the reception as a West Indian steel band taps out a tune. Half the guests give presents wrapped in fancy paper, the other half stuff fat envelopes into the provided box, and both halves consider the other a bit strange.

This week, we’re talking Weddings on the Ethnic Aisle. From what outfit to wear, to who to invite, to what do to about all of the parents’ demands and requests, for plenty of us its all got a cultural flava.

First up, Kelli Korducki isn’t quite sure what all of the fuss is about. “There are plenty of reasons for committed, long-term partners not to marry, and they needn’t even involve questions of “right one” -ness. Many—maybe most—involve the wedding itself.”

Then, Denise Balkissoon speaks with a bunch of brides who wore two dresses at their ceremony: an outfit that spoke to their ethnic traditions, as well as the Big White Dress.

Lucas Costello reflects on his own brief but quixotic marriage–and how pissed his overseas relatives were that he told them about it via e-vite.

Bhairavi Thanki discusses why she isn’t going to have any of her family’s Indian traditions in her own wedding, no how, no way.

Jaime Woo wishes Western weddings would adopt the Chinese custom of including games during the reception (and he’s got a few ideas of what they could be).

New contributor Helen Mo on why hipsters love an ethnic wedding.

and Simon Yau on why he sort of wanted his wife to change her last name from “Cheng” to “Yau,” and why “Chau” or “Yeng” just won’t work.

Keep checking back, we’ll be adding more all week. And feel free to share your most Toronto wedding stories in the comments.

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One Bride, Two Dresses

By Denise Balkissoon (well, by all of the brides, actually)

For many, The White Dress is an essential piece of the wedding, symbolizing everything from a massive new commitment, to celebrity status for a day, to long-guarded virginal purity (ha). But for mix-and-match Torontonians, those traditions often dovetail with others, which are also marked with fancy dress. Here, some local brides talk about why they chose to wear both a white gown as well as an outfit with different cultural meaning.

Jaclyn Law, Chinese-Canadian
Married in 2001
jaclynlaw-wedding
I’d redo certain things about my wedding, if I could (like not having it in January!), but I still love my wedding dress – it’s so simple and pretty. My husband and I decided to have a traditional Chinese banquet (his idea, actually), so I went with a cheongsam, too. I changed into it after the third course. When I entered the room, everyone started applauding — I probably turned as red as the dress! I got both gowns plus matching hair decor in Scarborough. My husband, whose background is Czech, wore a rented black tux with a mandarin collar. In the pictures, we look like a couple of kids.

 

Cindy Ramkissoon-Shears, Indo-Trinidadian-Canadian
Married in 2008
cindy-wedding

I have always wanted to wear the traditional Hindu wedding sari, even though later in life I became a born again Christian.  Growing up in a Hindu home and attending many Hindu weddings, I fell in love with the designs, colours and accessories.  I remember being a small child and seeing one of my elder cousins in the traditional red sari walking down the stairs to meet her groom, having the veil of flowers hanging on her face. From that moment I knew that is what I wanted to wear at my wedding.  My spouse is not of my culture but he welcomed my ideas and so did our wedding party. I chose to wear baby yellow, as the traditional wedding colours are red or yellow.

We were married in a church and our pastor was very excited that although were we being married under Christian rites, other cultures and traditions were still being represented in our clothing.  My pastor and his spouse also wore traditional Indian outfits at our ceremony.  After the ceremony, we changed into the traditional white dress and white suit for the remaining of our pictures and for the reception.  Honestly, if I could dance in a sari, I probably would have continued to wear that throughout the night!

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